Menopause is one of the most natural transitions a woman’s body can go through and yet it still comes with a lot of stigma.   It can be a complex process and it’s no secret that it can cause a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms.   But there is one thing many women don’t expect when they enter the menopausal stage – the amount of unsolicited advice they receive from family, friends and even strangers.

From dubious “cures” to outdated stereotypes, from myths and misconceptions to outdated cultural expectations, there is a lot of noise out there when it comes to menopause.

Whether it’s well-meaning friends or overzealous doctors, it’s time to cut through the noise and set the record straight. Here are 21 things about menopause that we’re tired of hearing.

1 “Just take some hormones”

Hormone therapy isn’t the only solution for managing menopausal symptoms, so please don’t push this option on us. It is also not suitable for all women.  Everyone’s body is different and every woman needs to find what works for her when it comes to managing their health during perimenopause and beyond.

2 “You’re too young for menopause”

Thanks for reminding us that menopause doesn’t discriminate based on age! The fact is that women can experience perimenopausal symptoms at any age, so if you think someone might be going through it, show them some compassion instead of disbelief.

3 “It’s all in your head”

Mental health issues like depression and anxiety are common during menopause, but those feelings aren’t imaginary (despite what some people might have you believe). If you know someone who’s struggling with mental health problems during perimenopause or menopause, listen to them without judgment and encourage them to seek professional help if necessary.

4 “You just need to stay positive”

Positive thinking definitely has its benefits but it isn’t always enough when it comes to dealing with the physical and psychological effects of menopause. Women need access to medical care as well as support from those around them in order to manage their symptoms effectively.

5  “It’s just a phase, it will be over soon”

One common misconception about menopause is that it lasts a short period of time.  Unfortunately, this isn’t true; the average woman experiences perimenopausal symptoms for up to 10 years before reaching full menopausal status. So please don’t tell us it’ll all be over soon as we’re in this for the long haul.

And yes, menopause is temporary but that doesn’t make living through it any easier.  Please don’t minimise or invalidate our experience by suggesting that our symptoms will magically disappear in a few weeks.

6 “Have you tried yoga?”

Yoga can certainly help reduce stress levels during perimenopause and beyond but it isn’t a cure-all solution for every woman experiencing symptoms associated with this transition stage in life. Some women may find relief through yoga while others may prefer alternative treatments like acupuncture or herbal supplements; ultimately each woman should get the chance to make her own decisions about what works best for her body and mind without being judged or pressured into trying something specific that may not work well for her individual needs.

7 “It must be nice to finally have your periods stop.”

Menstruation can be uncomfortable and inconvenient at times but it is still an integral part of many women’s lives. While some might find relief in knowing that their period has stopped, others might miss having regular cycles due to the emotional connection they had with them before menopause began (i.e., PMS). 

8 “You should just relax!”

Relaxation is great and important during times of stress but sometimes relaxation alone won’t cut it when dealing with severe symptoms such as insomnia or hot flashes. It’s okay if you need more than just relaxation techniques; don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about seeking medical attention if you need it.

Stress does play a role in how we experience menopause but suggesting that we simply “relax” isn’t always helpful or practical, especially if stress has been an ongoing issue throughout our lives prior to menopause beginning (which is often the case). Instead of telling us to “just relax,” why not offer tangible solutions such as yoga classes or meditation apps?  

9 “Menopause means the end of your sex life”

Far from it! While hormonal changes can cause physical changes such as vaginal dryness or decreased libido, many women find that their sex lives actually improve after menopause because they no longer need to worry about pregnancy or period cramps interfering with their pleasure. With the right approach, you can make sure that your sex life stays fun and fulfilling throughout your perimenopausal years and beyond.

10 “Menopause will make you irritable and moody”

Mood swings are a common symptom of perimenopause but they don’t have to take over your life. Taking steps like sticking to a regular sleep schedule, getting enough exercise, eating healthy foods and managing stress levels can help keep mood swings under control so that you don’t feel like you’re living in an emotional roller coaster all day long.

11 “You should avoid spicy food during menopause”

Sure, spicy food may cause some temporary discomfort for those experiencing hot flashes; however, eating spicy food has also been linked with improved cardiovascular health and reduced inflammation, two things that can be important for long-term health during the perimenopausal years.! So don’t be afraid to enjoy a bit of spice now and then.

12 “Menopause only affects women over 50”

While it is true that menopause typically begins around age 50, perimenopausal symptoms can start as early as 35 for some women. So don’t be surprised if you experience hot flashes in your late 30s—it might be a sign that you are entering your perimenopausal years.  And as mentioned earlier, it can begin as early as age 40 and sometimes even earlier, so please don’t assume that all perimenopausal women are elderly. Just because someone looks young doesn’t mean they aren’t experiencing the physical and emotional challenges associated with menopause.

13 “Just take some ibuprofen and you’ll be fine!”

Ibuprofen can help reduce inflammation and provide some relief from certain symptoms but it’s not a cure-all for every issue associated with menopause. While this particular advice isn’t necessarily wrong, it’s also important to remember that there are other options available to us as well, so don’t limit yourself to just taking ibuprofen.

14 “Don’t worry about gaining weight, you’re getting older now”

As if aging weren’t difficult enough without being told that weight gain is inevitable? Weight gain during menopause is very common due to hormonal shifts but suggesting that gaining weight is simply part of getting older isn’t helpful either.  Instead focus on providing useful tips on how one could maintain their current weight despite these shifts (i.e. healthy eating habits).  

15 “Just exercise more often; it’ll help keep your hormones balanced!”

Exercise certainly has its benefits when dealing with hormonal imbalances, however, it should never replace medical advice from a doctor or healthcare professional who knows one’s individual needs best (especially when dealing with something as complex as menopause). Before making any decisions about exercising more often during perimenopausal years, please consult with your doctor first for personalised guidance on what would work best for you specifically.  

16 “This isn’t normal; you must have an underlying health issue.”

Many things that occur during perimenopausal years are actually quite normal – hot flashes, night sweats, fatigue etc. so please don’t jump straight into assuming there must be something else wrong if these symptoms are present. It is always important to listen closely to your body and speak candidly with your doctor if anything feels off but don’t automatically assume something worse must be going on when these typical perimenopausal signs appear first. 

17 “You should really consider taking supplements/vitamins”

Unless prescribed by a healthcare professional specifically tailored towards an individual’s needs please avoid giving general advice regarding taking supplements/vitamins during perimenopausal years without proper research first. Taking such substances without consulting your doctor could potentially cause more harm than good, so make sure all necessary steps are taken beforehand before considering any supplementation route.  

18 “Have you tried [insert random home remedy] ?”

Home remedies can certainly help alleviate certain symptomatic issues related to perimenopausal stage, however please remember everyone responds differently depending on their own unique physiology & personal needs.  Don’t suggest trying random home remedies without first doing necessary research & speaking candidly with your doctor about potential risks & side effects each suggestion might entail.   

19 “Just eat healthier; it’ll balance out all the hormones!”

Eating healthy certainly helps support overall bodily functions but expecting drastic changes in hormonal levels due solely from dietary alterations alone isn’t a magic fix. Remember diet plays only one role amongst many other factors influencing hormonal health so please refrain from implying otherwise.  

 20 “You won’ t feel like yourself again until after menopause ends”

The truth is no two people experience this transition period the same.  Some may suffer drastically while others hardly notice any changes at all.  Every woman reacts uniquely depending on her own personal biology & history, so let’ s avoid putting negative expectations out there by saying everyone needs time until after cessation of menstruation before feeling back more like themselves again.    

21 “All menopausal women gain weight”

Weight gain during menopause is often attributed to hormone shifts, but this isn’t necessarily true for everyone. In fact, some women actually lose weight during this time due to changes in their metabolism or other lifestyle factors such as diet or exercise habits.

Menopause comes with its fair share of physical and emotional challenges so it can be difficult enough without having other people telling us how we should deal with our own unique situation. It’s often seen as something scary or negative by society at large but it doesn’t have to be. It’s time we changed the conversation around menopause so that more perimenopausal women know what they can do to manage their symptoms while still enjoying life during this amazing transition phase.  Understanding what is really happening with our bodies during this time helps us better equip ourselves with the knowledge we need to manage our symptoms without fear or shame.

Hopefully by calling out these tired stereotypes we can start an honest conversation about how best to support each other during this challenging time in life and maybe even have a laugh along the way.

Ultimately let us remember every person goes through this natural transition differently depending upon her own unique circumstances – so let us kindly keep our words free from judgment & full love & support when listening or offering advice whenever possible.

Our goal should be understanding rather than judgement or false advice so let’s get talking.